Villains, Grey Areas, and the Characters I Can’t Let Go Of

Some people love heroes, the chosen ones, the golden retriever energy, the characters who save the world and smile while doing it. And that’s fine. But me? I root for the ones in shadows. The ones who break things. The ones who shouldn’t be redeemable… and somehow still make me feel more seen than anyone else in the story.

Characters like Sephiroth (Final Fantasy VII), broken, manipulated, and consumed by betrayal. Or Shadow the Hedgehog, whose grief and confusion push him toward vengeance before he finds clarity. MewTwo, bred to be a weapon, asking the deepest question of all: “What is my purpose?”

And it’s not just gaming. My bookshelf tells the same story.

Lucius from Afterlife and Transfusion by Stephanie Hudson. Jason from Dark Secrets by Angela Hudson. Both are dangerous, morally questionable, sometimes downright terrible, and yet they reveal something raw, something painfully human. In fiction, we’re allowed to explore that without fear.

Eric from The Sookie Stackhouse Series. Rhysand from A Court of Thorns and Roses. Jacob (yes, Jacob) from Twilight. Even Peeta from The Hunger Games, maybe the kindest of them all, but still a fighter shaped by trauma.

They aren’t just “book boyfriends” (a phrase that makes me cringe a little, honestly). They’re stories. Questions. Wounds.

Sometimes they’re evil. Sometimes they’re lost. Sometimes they’re just so hurt they don’t know how to be anything else.

And I’ve wondered, what does it say about me, that I relate to them? That I’m drawn to them, again and again?

But here’s what I’ve realised: it says I understand the grey areas. The messy parts. The people who aren’t perfect, but aren’t monsters either. It says I know what it means to carry pain without a map. To be misunderstood. To struggle, and still try.

Because sometimes, I’m the one who wants to burn it all down.

Sometimes, I’m the one who feels like I don’t fit the neat version of “good.”

And that doesn’t make me a villain.

That makes me human.

Do I excuse their actions? No.

Do I think they all deserve redemption arcs? Not always.

But I understand them. And sometimes, that’s enough.

So no, I don’t always root for the hero. I root for the ones with cracks. The ones who hurt and heal in the same breath. The ones who remind me that being “good” doesn’t always look tidy.

I don’t root for villains because I admire what they’ve done. I root for them because I recognise what they’ve survived.

Who are the characters you can’t let go of, and why do they matter to you?